October

Is over, with nary a blog post (of mine) to be found.

That's almost impressive.

But I've been ridiculously busy. Life's been hectic, but in the best way possible. As I believe I've mentioned, I joined the tech crew for my school and have been given the job of head props person for the school play. This excites me quite greatly - I actualy have a real job, of real importance. I'm in charge of figuring out what props are needed and finding them for each of the scenes. This means not just props mentioned in the script (like the ticket for a police officer to write), but also things like backpacks in a school scene that simply contribute to the realism of the situation. So I'm pretty pumped for that.

Hmm, what else... well, again on the tech stream, tomorrow is my school's pep rally, which means that I'm missing a whack of classes today and tomorrow to work on that. I think for the pep rally, since there aren't props involved, what I'm doing is running back and forth between lights and sound so they each know what each other is doing, since our headsets aren't working. yay.

But really, I don't have much else to say. So much has gone on in the last 5 weeks that posting about it would be almost pointless, if you know what I mean. But I'll try to post a bit more often so that my, what, two readers? can know what I'm up to. Hehe.

~~~

"Thanks to that mix up, there is now one man in the world who is VERY scared of me..."

Yeah. It's been a while since my last post, and I'm sorry about that, but a lot has happened. I've been really busy, what with school and youth starting again, and my home computer stopped working, meaning that my only computer time is the limited amount I can wrangle in computer class - generally, enough to check my email and read messages, but not enough time to reply. But I have enough free time today to at least start this post - whether or not I finish remains to be seen.

So, moving along in chronological order from the last post: the day after my last post was the first day of school. As you probably know, I was a little apprehensive, but it turned out I had nothing to be worried about. There was one girl, Holly, that I had sort of been friends with last year, but hadn't spent a bunch of time with because she didn't get along so well with the three girls I mostly hung around with. I saw her fairly early on this year - I think at lunch on the first day - and we were fast friends again, which made me really happy. She's also friends with some of the people I had kind of known last year - you know, they'd been in one or two classes with me, we'd had a few conversations, but i'd never really bothered to get to know them. Now, however, I am and they've turned out to be great people and good friends.

The people I met working on the school orientation day have become close friends as well, especially Gil, since he and Holly already knew each other and it worked out that the three of us were in the same chemistry class. That's become my favourite class - the three of us have more fun than should ever be allowed in class. :P

I think I also mentioned being a wanna-be techie, since Gil and my other friends from orientation were all in tech crew (that's the group of people who runs sound, lighting, etc. for all the big school functions.) Well, I'm no longer a wanna-be! I joined the tech crew, as did Holly, and it's exciting to get to know people from that group as well. I even got my locker switched from some random corner halfway across the school into the drama/ music room hallway - easy access to the stage and drama room for tech stuff, and it's right next to Gil's locker and close to Holly's and her friends who I'm getting to be friends with. (see a couple paragraphs above.)

So overall, school is shaping up to be really great. Besides the social aspect of it, I'm mostly enjoying my classes and quite like the majority of my teachers.

Also, last Monday I got a cell phone. That was VERY exciting for me, considering how I've wanted a cell phone for ages. I've kept track of all the major milestones too:

First number dialed from the cell: Kari's cell
First text message sent: Kari
First text message received: Tyler
First person to answer the phone when I called from my cell: Amy
First call received: Home
First contact added: Kari
First time I saw my cell as a contact in someone else's cell: last Friday in Jordan's phone
First time I dropped the cell: Saturday at the church garage sale

Yeah. I'm really doting on my little phone, and I think my poor iPod feels left out. It used to get that kind of attention, but now... poor thing.

Quizzing and youth have started too - a very welcome addition to my life. I've missed them greatly. I've got to run though, I'll post again soon. Hopefully.

~~~

"Insanity is the best status you could possibly have in the mind of another. It frees you from all expectations, and people are pleasantly surprised when you do something half-intelligent."

Grade 11

That's right. Tomorrow I go back to school and start grade 11 - my second-last year of high school, or grade school period. It's so hard to believe, hard to believe that it's already September, that the summer flew by so fast... but I guess it shouldn't be. It was an amazing summer.

My ten days in Costa Rica were beyond incredible. Probably one of the most powerful experiences of my life, I learned so much and grew in so many ways, and of course had a great time. When I got home, I had the first surprise birthday party of my life and I saw one of my favourite singers, Chantal Kreviazuk, perform live. Then a family vacation to Idaho which was relatively enjoyable and took up a couple weeks. It included powering through the seventh Harry Potter book and feeling intense satisfaction, and a couple giant shopping trips with tons of bargain scouting.

Then in August, we had close family friends who we hadn't seen in a couple years come over - they have a daughter about my age, and we've always gotten along really well so it was great to see her again. The following weekend my cousins from Grande Prairie visited and we had a great time - I only see them a couple times a year but I love them to death and we always have a blast together. A week later, it was out to Camp Nakamun to plan orientation day at school, and I wound up having a bunch of fun.

Thursday of this past week, I had to be to my school for 9:00 am to set up said orientation day. That was a gruelling day - lifting chairs, desks, and tables, setting up the gym and classrooms, blowing up balloons... but I had a good time and got to know even better the people I had met the previous weekend. And then Friday was the big day. I had to be at the school at 7:30 am, since kids started trickling in around 8 and the day officially started at 9. I hadn't even woken up before 7:30 in ages, so that was a bit different, but not too bad.

The day was a long one though. I had to sit at a registration table and hand out mock timetables to the kids, telling them what classrooms they would be visiting that day. Then there was the pep rally, during which I did some technical stuff like cueing music, seeing as all my new friends are the techies and I'm a total wanna-be. I try though. Then I had to run a couple classroom activities, and it was a lot of fun, but I had to be upbeat, energetic and friendly all day. It came fairly easily, but it was exhausting! I didn't realize having that much personality could be so draining, but by the end of the day, I was absolutely wiped, and it was only 3:00. It was definitely a fun experience though.

Littered throughout the summer were phone calls to my friend in Australia, which are always so much fun, largely due to his wicked accent.

Then last night I got to go to Symphony Under the Sky with my friend Joanna, since her mom plays french horn in the ESO. It was a great show, especially since Tyler Hamilton, Canadian Idol season 1 finalist, was the guest singer. Haha. We talked to him in the intermissin and he's very friendly, but we'd also already met him way back, three years ago when Tyler opened for Ryan Malcolm. We were crazy fangirls back then though, and we didn't mention that evening to Tyler last night - we don't want to be remembered that way. :P It was fun though; I really don't see Jo often enough.

All things considered, it's been a madly awesome summer, and I really shouldn't be surprised that it went so fast. You know what they say - time flies when you're having fun, and fun I had.

And now quizzing has started again, school is about to start... I really need to get my binders and paper and pens and highlighters and such together, and I should give my room and bathroom a good cleaning today, cuz who knows when I'll get the chance to do that once school's started. The biggest difference this year will be the fact that for the first time since grade 1, I'm not taking piano lessons, but oh well, I can still play. I'll have to make myself do it - I really don't want to lose it.

So that's the summer in a nutshell. I guess I am excited for the coming year - I've got new friends and my old ones are... well, gone, leaving me with a fresher start and everything. It should be good; for now I'm staying optimistic.

~~~

"Nerdular nerdancy..."

A surprisingly enjoyable weekend

I was away this weekend at Camp Nakamun for a school retreat. We were planning the orientation day for all the new grade 10s and so a group of us went out to have an intense planning session and just hang out, but I must admit I was rather apprehensive. I didn't know a bunch of people in the group going out... I've posted before about some of my awkwardness with friends and the fact that I don't exactly know a ton of people at school, and so I brought my iPod and a couple books just in case no one talked to me and I didn't have the guts to talk to anybody, which I figured would be a likely situation.

BUT as soon as I got in the school on Friday, I saw a guy from my former English class who I'd chatted with a bunch, and so I said hello, and he introduced me to another guy and girl, and so the four of us hung out for a lot of the weekend. It was actually really cool, to find these people that I wound up getting along with so well, instead of all the other people who were there, most of whom I know a bit and I know are realllly not the type of people I'd be friends with. Just not compatible personalities, but I was so happy I really did make friends, and I'm getting slightly excited for the new school year now.

So it became a rather enjoyable weekend, though I really hadn't expected it to be. It was also so diffierent from any of my other Nakamun trips - I've been out there 8 times, I calculated - 4 quiz meets, 2 quiz retreats, 1 youth retreat, and my grandma's 80th birthday. But each of those was in the winter, with the exception of the quiz meets, which are obviously very scheduled, and so we didn't use the climbing wall, human fooseball, campfire or go canoeing - all of which we did this weekend, and had a great time. So that was definitely a new experience, as was the fact that with my church group or family, there's a huge measure of comfort and security. I know everybody in my group, and I'm really comfortable with them all, while this time, I didn't know anyone very well and didn't exactly start out super comfortable with them - another different thing.

Food though, that was exactly the same, and before every meal, I would tell everyone what we were going to have, and I was always right. Bahaha.

But yes, that was my weekend. It is now exactly 8 days until school starts again, and because I'm sort of not looking forward to it, and sort of excited, they cancel each other out and I have no feelings on the matter.

~~~

"He looks like he's giving birth!"

4 letters

Just 4 letters. 4 certain letters which, when arranged in a certain order, form one certain word, and that word totally defines me. It's my name, and I find it incredible how this simple arrangement of 4 letters - that I didn't even choose - defines so much of me.

If I meet someone with my name, I feel an instant connection to them. If I end up disliking that person, however, I really dislike them all the more - I feel like they're disgracing the name, MY name. I judge people so much more highly if they're an ambassader of my name, my 4 letters.

I recently read an article about a woman with my name who stopped a man who had stolen someone's purse. I was filled with a fierce sense of pride - look what MY NAME can do! And then last night on the evening news, a young girl with my name was killed in a car crash. Though I don't know the girl at all and she didn't even live in my city, I felt so awful hearing that. No one deserves to die like that, but in my mind, she especially didn't. She holds my name, and so her pain was, briefly, my pain.

It's only 4 letters, but it's so important. It's the way I'm introduced to people, the way I'm initially different from everybody else, and it really is my identity. Those 4 letters carry my entire life, and I'm so attached to them. Without those letters, without that one small word... I would just be a nameless human being in a sea of faces, but at least my name, my 4 letters, are something to hold on to. In my life, in my world, to all my friends and family, they define me.

There have been times when I've met people, given them my name, and they've said "Oh! I know a girl with your name! She [liked this, disliked that, had this hobby, etc.] Are you the same way?" After just 4 letters, they formed an automatic idea of me. If they didn't have my name, they'd have to formulate their conclusions from who I am rather than the 4 letters that sum it all up.

So maybe it's not as important as I've thought. I've felt connected to people without ever knowing their name, or them knowing mine. I guess it's another handle to hold on to someone by.

But that's my deep musings for the day.

~~~

"Wow, that was a big word! I'm impressed!"
"Thanks! Yeah, I like to think I have a broad... uh... mm..."
"Vocabulary?"
"Yeah, that's the one."

Your friendly neighbourhood spider-saver

That's what I turned into over the past two weeks in Idaho. It's a darn good thing I'm not afraid of spiders, or else we would have had a major problem, since pretty much every time I went into my bathroom, there was a lovely spider right beside the toilet. However, I'm a good person, and I like spiders, so rather than killing it, I would scoop it into my wastebasket and toss it into the garage. Unless it was late at night, at which time I would just flush it down the toilet - but that only happened a couple times.

My brother, on the other hand, is terrified of spiders and refused to use the downstairs bathroom for the entire holiday. Not that you'd see me complaining - it meant I had the bathroom to myself.

And on a slightly related topic - I saw the Simpsons movie and laughed myself stupid at the Spiderpig scene:

Marge looks up, says "How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling?"

Homer is holding pig up to ceiling, singing:
"Spiderpig, Spiderpig
Does whatever a Spiderpig does.
Can he swing from a web?
No he can't, he's a pig.
Look out, SpiderPig."

Thought of Jessica and died laughing. Drove my brother nuts. :P And laughed even harder when Homer later put a scar and a pair of glasses on the pig and declared, "He's not SpiderPig anymore. Now he's Harry Plopper."
I found it hilarious.

Speaking of Harry Plopper, I loved the last Potter book. I think the romantic pairings definitely ended up right, and overall it was a satisfactory ending. Maybe around Christmas I'll read all seven books in a row. That should be fun.

Not much else to say though. Later days.

~~~

"You've gone mad with power!"
"Of course I've gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring and no one listens to you!"

Last update until after Idaho

Well, the days since my last post have been relatively full and exciting.
First, on Saturday, well... first I should set the mood.
I was grumpy. Very, very grumpy. I had been in a bad mood all day and then Mother started getting after me to clean my room and hang up my clothes, and then I realized that she had hung up my pants on the small hangers instead of the large hangers, and she moved my long-sleeved shirts to the other side of the closet, and since I'm very particular about my closet organization, that really did not thrill me. So I got even grouchier.

All day, I had been looking forward to around 7:00, because I was going to phone my Aussie, so just before 7, I asked my dad if I could tie up the phone for a couple hours and he asked me to wait until after 7 because he was expecting a call. I semi-cheerfully cooperated, and then at 7, the doorbell rang. He hollered at me to get it. Then it rang again. And again. I thought it was my brother, so I fired the door open very irritated, and there are 13 people on the doorstep shouting "Surprise!"

So basically, my mother rigged up a surprise birthday party for me. There were a ton of my church friends there, plus one junior high friend and one friend from way back in elementary school who I've been friends with most of my life. I didn't really know what to do - I just left them outside, ingesting what was going on, until my mom opened the door and let them in. So we all traipsed downstairs and hugn out for a few hours.

It was so cool though - I've never had a surprise party before. It was exciting for me to have people like Graham there, who I had barely known before the missions trip, and realize that I really did make friends on the trip. And my kung-fu card from Kyle, and having Becky and Joanna, who I don't see nearly as much as I'd like to... anyway, it was a good time. I made sure to thank my mumsy and apologize for being so grumpy.

Then the next day, Kyle brought me a present which he didn't on Saturday because the invitation said no presents (grr... mother!) It was... a Canada. Smarty-pants. And a little calendar and a cheesecake recipe from his mother - I feel very special. His mother gave me a birthday present. Haha.

Later that day was Ellie's birthday party, which was fun. I gave the youth group gift to Natalie and was very excited to do so. Ellie's such a cutie pie! Hey Amy, what happened to the picture CD? Just thought of that now...

And then that night, Mom took me to Capital Ex (almost wrote K-Days there... Cap. Ex is a pretty dumb name though) to see Chantal Kreviazuk. She's a singer, she was playing at EdFest, and since I've liked her for a while and entry to Capital Ex and the show was only $10, I begged to go. It was actually really amazing - she can really play the piano - I mean, she just killed the thing. It was incredible. And then to look out and see the sunset and the rides all lit up by neon lights, and then around 11, fireworks starting... I can't even describe the beauty of it. It looked like something out of a movie. It was incredible.

And then the past few days have just been blah, getting ready to leave for potato country (Idaho) in the morning. Goody. I'm actually really excited to go shopping in the American stores though, and we're going to an amusement park and staying at a lake, so it should be a relatively good time. Anyway, that's all for now, talk to you when I get back!

~~~

"mumble mumble mumble."

P.S. Amy, women don't share their men. It just doesn't happen. That book really is a fantasy novel...

Late night phone calls = <3

So I recently discovered that my phone plan, which includes unlimited Canada/ US calling, also includes 1000 free minutes basically anywhere in the world. I have this friend that I met a year ago. He lives in Australia. All year, we've been emailing and arranging msn conversations and all that complicated stuff, while also missing each other like mad and wishing we could see or at least talk to one another. And then I figured out that we can!

So yesterday, I sent him an email telling him about the phone plan and how theoretically, I could call him if he was interested, and then I periodically checked my email all afternoon/ evening for a response. I checked it on a whim at about 10 pm, just before i was planning to head in the bed-type direction, and there he was! So i quickly talked to him and he gave me his number and i called him right then and we ended up talking until after midnight. My parents were relatively annoyed... oops... but it was the most amazing thing to talk to him again and hear his lovely accent! Somehow I didn't really think we'd basically ever talk again unless we visited each other's country, so this for me was sooo exciting and pretty much made my... well, it would have made my week if my week hadn't started in Costa Rica. But it was still awesome.

Anyway, that's the most exciting thing to happen to me since I got home.

~~~

"That guy's a big bloke!"

Costa Rica + Sweet 16!

Hey everybody!
Well, I'm home from Costa Rica now and I had an absolutely amazing time. I couldn't even begin to tell you how everything was, but it was incredible. The biggest realization I had was I guess just the power, greatness and love of God, which was probably the point of the trip anyway. But I mean, there was more to it than that... rice and beans, quotes, falling in fountains... sigh. Maybe what I'll do for the next few days is post a story about the trip every day.

It was great though, and I stayed up until 2 last night yakking about it. Then I slept until 12, which is completely out of the ordinary for me! Even more out of the ordinary is that I'm still tired, but I suppose that can be excused, because before I went to bed, in a period of 41 hours, I only slept for 3-4 of them.

And today is my birthday! I'm 16, still without a learners licence, but very excited for the new year of my life. And honestly, there's no better way to start it than having just come from the greatest trip of my life. In fact, I sort of miss the trip already. It's weird to wake up on my own, without Amy in the same room and noises of 7 other girls getting ready. And to be sitting here, on the computer, all alone without someone dibsing it after me or Graham sitting behind me with his guitar... it's just different. I got so used to all these people that it doesn't feel right without them, and I really do feel like we're all a family now. I love you all!

So now, to choose a quote to end the post... this shall be difficult.


~~~

"On the plus side, Imodium is delicious."

Sleep

(yeah, I know I haven't posted in ages. So shoot me.)

I am of the opinion that you sleep better if you know you don't have to get up. I've been having great, wonderful, long sleeps since school let out. I wake up in my own time, kind of drift into consciousness rather than being rudely shoved into wakefulness by the incessant screaming of an alarm clock. It's quite peaceful and I enjoy it, because I know that it doesn't matter when I get up anyway.

But then this morning, I had to get up at 9 because I had to babysit at 10. I woke up at 7, tossed and turned for a while, went back to sleep, woke up at 7:45, kind of drifted off until 8:15, and then stayed there in a semiconscious, not awake, not asleep state until quarter to 9, at which point I decided it was pointless and I might as well just get up.

So I had a crummy sleep for the last couple hours, because I knew my sleep would be ending soon. Turned out that my babysitting job got cancelled anyway, but the point is that you sleep better when you're guaranteed sleep. When you're under pressure to sleep; when you know that you won't be able to sleep past a certain time, you end up not sleeping at all.

That's got to be one of the more pointless posts I've ever made. Humph.

~~~

"that's... not my name."

I hate group work

No, that's not strong enough. I loathe it, I detest it, I despise it, I... I'm about to collapse. I don't even get it. This has happened before, where I'm in a group that doesn't pull their weight and I do most of the work. I don't mind - I even set myself up for it. I offer to do most of the work because I know I'll do it right. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but the truth is that I know the grammar rules, I have a wide vocabulary (at least when I'm writing,) and generally, I trust myself to do a good job. But now, the project is due tomorrow, one girl hasn't sent me a thing, and I don't even know. I think this is more the straw that broke the camel's back. It's all weighing down, it's crunch time, and only the strong ones can handle it. It just remains to be seen whether or not I can.

~~~

"That's it - we're giving you to the paper."

Every end brings a beginning...

... Canadian Idol starts tonight! I'm excited; I usually like it better than American. (plus there's always the added possibility that the winner will be from here! Haha.)

So yeah, can't wait to watch.

~~~

Cross-multiplying is basically the best thing ever.

The week the world ends

Maybe a little dramatic, but it really does feel like everything's ending this week. We had the last Sunday School today in which the youth ran a penny carnival for all the young 'uns... that was definitely really fun. Sunday School ending doesn't have much of an effect on me, being that we quizzers don't really go to Sunday School, but it was still a very large measure of finality.

My last Tuesday night youth until next year is on Tuesday (well, no duh erin... no, the last Tuesday night youth is on Wednesday...) but yeah, anyway, Bible study is ending which is... well, disappointing, to say the least. It's done so much for me, every Tuesday I leave feeling so empowered and then I start to screw up and trip and stumble, and I hit bottom late on Monday or Tuesday morning, just in time to be built up again that night. I have no idea what I'll do without that, but I guess I'll manage. Somehow.

But even before that, Tuesday afternoon is my last piano lesson. Ever. I'm quitting after my exam (in 10 days... oh gosh...) but yeah. I did some calculations last night, and I've taken piano for 9 years now. That means 9 Christmas recitals, 9 pizza parties (although I didn't make it to all of them,) 18 formal recitals, and countless spring recitals, Halloween recitals, and exam recitals.

More than that, it means that at 36 lessons a year, I've had 324 lessons, spent 324 weeks practicing my butt off (well, most of those weeks I actually worked hard... hehe) to impress the teacher. My first 3 years of lessons I had 30 minute classes; the next 4 years were 45 minutes, and the past 2 years have been 60 minute lessons, so that makes a grand total over the years of 14 040 minutes spent in piano lessons. That converts to 234 hours, or 9.75 days, spent IN the lesson. This is not taking into account time spent practicing or at recitals.
That's a giant chunk of time. I mean, think about it. I can't believe it, I can't believe I'm just stopping now... but I am, and I mean, I'll still play for fun and stuff, but yeah, it just seems so huge all spelled out like that.

So yeah, that's piano, and then the last Friday night youth is on Saturday... (oh! gotcha there, didn't I! no, it's on Friday, of course.) I know it will definitely be a ton of fun, but still, after that... it's over, just like that, and I will go from seeing my wonderful youth friends 3 times a week to once a week, and that will stink, considering that they're the best friends I have (most of them are, anyways... no comment on the rest.)

And yeah. The world ends this week and I don't know what I'll do with myself after. I've heard twiddling thumbs is fun.

~~~

"It says... non... perfumed..."


EDIT just for Amy: If this is the week the world ends, I suppose you could say... I'm "At World's End?"

Not much to say

But I had to post today in order to use this quote:

"God - the quicker picker upper."

Piano Images

Well, first a quick update on stuff:
American Idol finished, after an incredibly long finale filled to the brim with... well, with filler. Congrats Jordin. Enjoyed performances from all idols, did not enjoy performance by Bette Midler and have no idea why she was there, but whatever. For a slightly better review, go to Josh's blog because I don't have the energy to review it properly.

Went to see Pirates 3 yesterday. I thought it was great. For a much better and more comprehensive review, go to Amy's blog because I don't have the energy to review it properly.

So I have this piano sort-of recital tonight, it's almost like a practice exam, and well, Amy was talking about being assigned mental pictures for her songs, and I said I already do that... kind of. I've been doing it all year, and last year too, but not so much a picture as harnessing a feeling and pushing it out in the piece. See, I've always felt like there's more to piano, or music in general, than just hitting the right notes as quickly and loudly as possible - I think it has no point if you can't pass on a feeling, and so I try to create one. And so, if you happen to be interested, these are the feelings I associate with each of my exam pieces.

Here's That Rainy Day - It's a study, a very old jazz piece. It has words:

"Maybe I should have saved
those left-over dreams
funny, but here's that rainy day.

Here's that rainy day
they told me about
and I laughed at the thought
that it might turn out this way.

Where is that worn-out wish
that I threw aside,
after it brought my lover near?

Funny how love becomes
a cold rainy day
funny, that rainy day is here."

Definitely reminds me of my friends changing schools - how you know, I got so comfortable and secure and never thought I'd be left out in the cold, until I was. So I grasp those emotions - loneliness, almost disbelief - for this one.

Study: Morning Bell
It's a really beautiful, peaceful song. It makes me feel like I'm one with the world and with everything and it's all going to turn out ok. It doesn't take a lot of effort to create feelings of joy and contentedness before I play this song - as I play they just sort of come.

List A: Sonata in c-
This is the one that says "I ain't givin' up." You can't hold me down when I'm playing this song.

List B: Sonatina in Bflat +
It's kind of like life, you know? Some parts happy, some parts not quite so happy, but it keeps on going, it doesn't slow down, and you always wind up on the bright side anyway.

List C: Chanson Triste (A Sad Song)
This one reminds me so much of a friendship I have... it's painful, because I'm not able to see this friend at all or talk to this friend half as much as I would like, so I've come to associate our friendship with some measure of pain and wistfulness. At the same time, it's so beautiful and so wonderful to be friends with this person that I wouldn't trade it for the world, and when we do talk, there are bright moments... but it's all so bittersweet. This is like the piece because it is sad, but it's so beautiful that the sadness is worth it.

List D: Mysterious Summer Night
Amy's little sister called this song "evil," and in a way I suppose it it. It lives up to its name, in that it's quite mysterious, and it brings up all kinds of feelings of confusion and lost-ness for me. It's like, you've got everything figured out, you're on top of the world, and then bam, someone whips a curveball at you and everything changes, and you don't know what's going on anymore. Sometimes your confusion makes you mad, and sometimes you just resign yourself to being confused, but in the end... you're still confused.

So there ya go Amy, that's what to listen for tonight, haha.

~~~

"Go for a jog, make yourself a smoothie, read an Archie comic - it's gonna be alright."

Final Idol Prediction

So after watching last night’s performances, I can honestly say… I really, REALLY don’t care who wins. I adore them both, and I know exactly what’s going to happen tonight. It’ll be one of two scenarios.

Scenario A:

Ryan Seacrest: And the winner of American Idol 2007 is… Blake Lewis!
Erin immediately bursts into tears and feels incredibly sorry for Jordin, thinking, “It’s so unfair! I always wanted her to win!”

OR

Scenario B:

Ryan Seacrest: And the winner of American Idol 2007 is… Jordin Sparks!
Erin immediately bursts into tears and feels incredibly sorry for Blake, thinking, “It’s so unfair! I always wanted him to win!”

Guaranteed reaction (minus the tears… if any, they will be of happiness, because Idol finales tend to do that to me.) Anyway, tonight no matter what happens, I know I will feel like the winner deserved to win, and I will feel so bad for the non-winner. (I hate saying loser… as Paula says, we’re all winners here.)
But now, if I must enter a prediction... I’ll say Jordin. Although I really do love them both.

~~~

“What flavour is yellow?"

Upcoming American Idol Finale

It's that time now - time now for me to enter my prediction for who the new American Idol will be. The unfortunate part is that I don't HAVE a prediction, nor do I really have a preference. I could argue for either Blake or Jordin, and that's what I plan to do:

Blake must win because:
- He's unique. He brings his own new flavour with his beatboxing that will appeal to a whole different audience than what AI usually does. His style of music will set him apart from any of the previous winners, or even finalists, and he'll prove that Idol really does attract a diverse crowd and can produce all types of musicians.

- He's creative. He adds beats and things to songs and makes them sound totally different than the original. It takes a giant talent to do that.

- He's a great entertainer. He keeps the audience interested through his entire performance.

- He seems like a really nice, fun-loving guy.

- I like his dad.

Blake can't win because:

- He's not the best singer, and Idol is, first and foremost, a singing competition.

- He hasn't always been consistent.

- The music he makes won't necessarily appeal to Idol's demographic - mainstream pop.

Jordin must win because:

- She's an amazing singer. She has a phenominal voice, especially for someone so young, and of the final two, she definitely has the better vocals. She's got a giant range and a voice that's really pleasing to listen to.

- Aside from Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani weeks, she's been consistently excellent.

- Being so young, she has so much opportunity to grow and evolve in her musical journey.

- She's a beautiful girl, and fuller-figured, making her so natural-looking, which is nice to see.

- She can pull off almost any genre successfully.

- She'll make an Idol album, probably reminiscent of Kelly Clarkson, and we all know how well she did.

- She too seems to be a really sweet, nice, genuine person.

Jordin can't win because:

- She's been on American Juniors and America's Most Talented Kid, and even recorded a 5-song mini-CD when she was 13. Too much exposure, too many chances at fame.

- She is so mainstream, with basically no defined genre. She'll just make some bland pop record dictated to her, which may get radio play but won't attract new idol watchers or appeal to a very large audience.

- She's a cover singer, not necessarily an artist. She hasn't shown real creativity or individuality, other than changing a note here or there. She may be a singer, but not a musician.


Basically, either one could win and it would be fine with me. I can spin it either way. I even spun the same point either way some of the time, like the fact that Jordin will make a mainstream pop record. It can be either a positive or a negative, depending on how you look at it.

And yeah, you've pretty much just seen one of the major reasons I like watching Idol so much. I take it intellectually, I make predictions and for me, it's like a case study in humanity. It's fun.

I could also argue either way for almost all of the finalists - to win or not to win. Take Melinda... I could say she should have won, or I could say she deserved to go, and make an argument for both. But, it's getting late and I don't have the energy.

So, go Blake and Jordin!

~~~

"KYLERRRRR!!!!!"

Longest Blog Post Ever

Well. This is going to be long because, other than my rant about Melinda, I haven't posted for a couple weeks and an update on my life is in order.

First, the quiz meet was everything I expected and more. Just such a giant party. Amy and I drank coffee at 10:30 ish, because we were both tired, and remarkably, it worked. (although I think the effects were more psychological than anything else.) It was so nasty though - everything in me was trying to reject it but i forced it down. Then I spent over an hour catching up with an old friend from junior high who I really haven't sat down and talked to since probably grade 8. One of the biggest things I regret from my junior high years is not getting to know her better, but the past is in the past, I guess.

Then, at 1:30, she went to bed and Amy came over to me, half-asleep, and said "Can we go to bed now?" Of course, I snapped back, "NO!" and we decided we were going to get Coke. It too, worked wonders in keeping us awake for a half-hour, but at 2 we crashed and slept for a few hours.

In terms of quizzing itself, the quiz meet was alright... super for some people, not so super for others, and I was really middle of the road. I'm excited for next year though, a non-gospel with fewer verses should be a blast.

So then the next week was pretty irremarkable... we did Living Light News again, which was fun as always. Youth event was laser tag... luckily, I am better at laser tag than Halo, so I didn't make a total idiot out of myself. Weird thing though - between games, my hand was shaking. Like, crazy shaking, and I couldn't help it. I wasn't the only one either; Kyle was shaking like mad. It was strange - probably just from holding the gun. It was a lot of fun though. For one game, Kyle and I teamed up, but we were the worst teammates in the world.
Me: Nobody's coming past us. I'm bored. *shoots Kyle*
Kyle: Hey! *shoots me*
Haha.

The next morning, we got immunized for Costa Rica - all I needed was Hepatits A, but I was really worried, because normally shots, especially flu shots, totally immobilize my left arm. Really, they hurt like crazy for at least 3 days. Thankfully though, this one really had no effect on me! I was so happy... Kyle, however, was complaining that his right knee hurt, and he blamed it on the shot. He got the shot in his left arm... what a hypochondriac :P

Then we had a barbeque for the missions team, but before that, I had to go with Everett, Kyle, and Kyle's mom to pick up ice cream and ice cream cones. Oh my, what an experience. Never go grocery shopping with Kyle and Everett... it's insane. Everett wants anything with a brand name on it ("Bounty! The quicker-picker-upper!") and Kyle refuses to ask for directions or look at signs to figure out where things are - he works more by trial-and-error. I was almost ripping my hair out by the end of it.

After the barbeque, I went to Amy's house and was introducted to the wonders of the Wii. I never understood the attraction to it before, but now I do. Especially tennis - easily my favourite. As soon as I got there, I took the Wii fitness test and it was revealed that my Wii fitness age was 61. Slightly embarassing. But still, it was great. I even got a cramp in my Wii arm, lol. We also watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2, in preparation for Pirates 3. Ben, Amy and I finished the movie around midnight, so then we did another fitness test (my age dropped to 46! Yay!) and played for a while. We were all tired and somewhat giddy, though, so everything seemed ridiculously funny. Ben started calling me Ewin, and I decided that from now on, I am signing my name as Ewiinnn. That's right. Say that one out loud. :P It was a ton of fun though, and a little weird for moe ebcause I've always seen Ben as Amy's dorky little brother, and now, I'm starting to see him as a fellow youth, and even as a friend. It's pretty cool. He's a nice kid.

So after that... got up in the morning, went home after church... lived through the rest of the week until yesterday when I went to my uncle's wedding. It was... interesting. The ceremony was really small, probably about 15 people there, and then there was a reception-type-thing at their house afterwards, which, aside from the food, was kind of crummy. Nobody there for me to talk to really, so my uncle let me on his computer and that kept me happy for a while. However, it was an excuse to dress up, so it made it totally worthwhile. Haha.

And that brings us to today. It's the long weekend; I'm basically just hanging around home and getting decent amounts of sleep for the first time in weeks. It's SO NICE to not be wrenched out of lovely dreams in lovely places by an angry screaming alarm clock, but slowly and peacefully drift into consciousness. Sigh. But yeah, I have no plans and I like it that way. Well, no plans other than cleaning my bedroom and bathroom, vacuuming the basement, ironing clothes, and whatever else my mom can find for me to do. However, as I've explained before, I don't really mind.

I have a few other things I can think of to post about, including American idol and the upcoming finale, but this is long enough as it is. Kudos and love to anyone who actually read all that, and I'll post again at least once this weekend.

~Ewiinnn.

One of my favourite late-night Ben quotes:

Ben: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Me: Sponge-Bob Square-Pants?
Ben: Nooo... EWINNN!!!

Followed by maniacal laughter due to lack of sleep.

WHYYYYYYY?????

IT'S NOT TRUE. it isn't. They're lying to me, they're trying to trip me out, it's all a conspiracy, they're all out to get me. I don't care what excuse I use, all I need to know is that it isn't true. I know it's not. Because if it is, nobody can answer why, and the whys make things real. Without the why, it isn't real.

No.

Maybe I'm in denial, but I like it better here.

Melinda did not go home.

~~~

"The question is, was the donkey a male or a female?"

I'M A GENIUS

I figured it out. Costa Rica! I'll do my powerpoint on Costa Rica! I'll complete a school project while educating myself on the country I'm visiting in the summer. I can't believe it took me this long to think of it. I'm so happy now.

See you all tonight! (I say "you all" because anyone who could possibly read this blog is in quizzing, and the quiz meet is tonight and I am too pumped for words.)



"I'm wearing shorts because I just made my last pair of pants dirty."

Quiz Meet!

I'm so excited... I love quiz meets, especially the finals, and I'm in high school now so I can stay out later on Saturday and wow. I'm so excited. So this week seems to be dragging on forever, but one more day, I can do it!

I'm in computer class right now trying to figure out a topic to do my powerpoint presentation on. I have no idea. It's supposed to be interesting; we have to present it to the class so I don't want to be totally lame. Any suggestions? Please?


Edit: oh dear, forgot a quote! *tears*
"ah, I love Susie."
"Um, I think it was Grace..."

Best thing ever

From American Idol Wednesday night:

Amazing. I laughed forever when I saw it.

I think it's actually quite brilliant, the way they parodied the judges so accurately. My favourite is Lisa's exaggerated portrayal of Paula's... well... shall we say, questionably strange behaviour this year and her clap with the wide-spread fingers. Marge attempting Randy's "dawg" sign and having only three fingers was quite funny as well, and of course, Simon doing a Pussycat Dolls song... classic.

A quick explanation for the uneducated of Bart's comment: "Lions haven't eaten this well since Dunkleman."
Brian Dunkleman was Ryan Seacrest's co-host in season 1. By season 2, Dunkleman had disappeared, never to be heard from again. I have no idea where he is, but the "eaten by lions" theory works for me!



"And his son's just like him."
"Oh no, there's two of them??"

Every little thing's gonna be alright

Don't have a bunch of time, but I want to say thank you, mainly Josh and Amy, for those last two comments. I'm still not completely happy about my friends changing schools, but the thing is, there's been a bunch of crap surrounding my relationships with those people. Maybe them going is exactly what I need to make a bit of a new start.

Also, it's kind of helped me figure out who my real friends are, and what even constitutes a real friend. I'm not saying that they're not friends, but well, when a real friend tries to cheer you up, it should work. It shouldn't sound forced or feel phony.
When a real friend wants to spend time with you and talk to you, you shouldn't dread it. It shouldn't drain you, it should build you up and re-energize you.
When a real friend asks you what's wrong, you should be ok with opening up at least somewhat, and not feel like you need to hide yourself.
When a real friend asks for your opinion, you should be able to be honest, and have them be honest in return, and feel that differences in opinions are mutually respected.
A real friend makes you feel valued and respected, and these people that I'm with now don't always do that for me. Oh, I know it's a two way street, and I'm not perfect either, but maybe we just need to part ways for a bit.

Yes, I'm back to being optimistic and my true friends have helped me be there. And though at this point, none of them go to my school, that's fine. I'll meet people, I'll broaden my horizons, and everything's gonna be just fine.



"Thank goodness no one heard that."
"What, the part about you turning into a man?"
*hysterical laughter

I'm going to offer up a quick apology to the few people who read this for not posting for a while... it's been a rough week. Last Wednesday, I discovered that, of the four people I spend time with at school, three are going to a different school next year. That in itself isn't too big a deal, but it was kind of the last straw. It unearthed all kinds of deep-seated issues with myself and things that I've managed to put to the back of my mind for a long time, and now it's really not easy to deal with. But I'm dealing, I guess. Don't have much of a choice.

Anyways, for the past week, pretty much all I did on the computer was play endless repetitive internet games and try to ignore the rest of the world, but I dragged myself out of it and took a peek at Josh's blog, which I was rather glad for, because it brought up an issue that I had an opinion on, and it felt really good to actually have a point of view again, and to not just coast by in complete and utter uselessness. So I decided I could post on here again too, though I don't really have a whole lot to say.

But I have to go... I need to go to English class and sit in the corner, bored out of my skull for 80 minutes.



"You have to be optimistic... the Erin I know wasn't a downer."

Just a quick one

Don't have a bunch of time, just wanted to go on the record as saying my prediction for AI tonight is Chris Richardson going home, sharing the bottom 3 with Phil and Sanjaya (but the latter is probably wishful thinking.)

And I love Martina McBride to death and I'm so glad she made an appearance. Country music is amazing - I love the raw emotion evoked and I think it was a really good night overall (the little that I saw.)



"And I was like, 'I don't even care, Mom, it's just my pants.'"

Eating again... but not very much

Honestly, I think my stomach shrunk or something over 30-hour Famine. I'm really not hungry, and I haven't been that hungry all day. Oh well, it's probably good for me - I could stand to eat less. Forming healthy habits, you know.

It was really fun though, the famine was. It was a very nice surprise to see Josh and Emily, because I now remember something about Amy saying they were thinking about coming but I don't know that she ever confirmed to me. I played Halo for the first time ever, and I killed myself 5 times and other people 3 times... oops. Next time!

Then I had to go babysit, and they didn't come home until 1:30 am, so I'm a little tired. I also made the mistake of watching "When a Stranger Calls" just after midnight, which scared me half to death, considering that it's about a murderer coming into the house and killing the children while the babysitter sits downstairs. Probably not the greatest choice.

Other than that, I did a whole bunch of nothing all day, which was really relaxing but means I'm faced with a whole bunch of something to do today.

Luckily, that something includes ironing and cleaning my bathroom, two of my favourite things to do. They feed the soul, and as promised for Josh, I'm going to explain why.

First of all, they are seriously brain-dead activities. I don't have to think, or if I want to think, I don't need to think about what I'm doing, which is an effective method of multitasking - it saves time later.

But that's just convenient. The real soul-feeding part is how it started out as such a mess. The clothes are wrinkly, the bathroom is dirty, the carpet is covered in footprints. But then you come in and fix it all. You iron or scrub or vacuum, and it's all perfect again. You're powerful, you're in control, and you've fixed it. It's a good feeling, especially when you've been feeling like everything's a mess, outside of your control. All of a sudden you have total control over something, and you're improving it, making it better. You feel useful, and as you sort out your physical environment, it almost feels like you're also sorting out whatever was bothering you, whatever was confusing you, whatever was weighing you down. When you finish, you know you've accomplished something - you can look at the pile of clean ironed clothes or the sparkling washroom, and see what you've done. And that feeling makes you feel like you can take on the world.

At least, that's what it's like for me. I don't really know why I switched to second person there.

Anyway, I better get going. I have a shower to clean. ;)


"Who's got beef?"

Famining

I'm currently on the 30-hour famine - I haven't eaten in almost 8 hours and the scents of my families dinner are drifting in towards me, but I'm managing to ignore them. Instead, I'm pondering what I've figured out about us and food.

See, I started my famine early so I could end it early (I'm babysitting tomorrow night, should probably have a full stomach), which meant I skipped lunch at school. I ate a meal at 10:30 though, stuffing myself until I couldn't eat anymore. Still, when lunch came along, I wanted to eat. I wasn't hungry, but everyone around me was eating and it seemed like it's what I should be doing as well. I even went to the cafeteria with my friends, smelled the hamburgers and french fries and... felt sick. It was too greasy of a smell, being as un-hungry as I was, but I STILL wanted to eat because everyone else was.

Then, we got to the break between 3rd and 4th period. I was about to go to social studies, and I'm not kidding, I find that class unbearably boring. So, I grabbed at my lunch bag for a snack, then remembered I wasn't supposed to eat. But I realized that I still wasn't hungry; I just wanted to have something to eat to numb the boredom. It would give me something to do other than just listen to someone droning on and on... and on... and on...

And I think I figured out a little bit about why society has problems with obesity. I didn't realize how much I eat without really needing too. I didn't start to feel hungry until about 5:00, meaning that I had gone 6 1/2 hours without food. Even then, I had a glass of water and all was fine. It's now been 8 hours and I'm still not really that hungry. Yet on a normal day, I would have eaten at least 3 times by now.

This famine provides a very interesting insight into the minds of humans... I've been thinking about some other stuff, but I'll post it later, once I've gone longer without food (since that may change my standpoint.)

Also, I have decided to, like Amy, conclude my posts with a quote of the day, because I find it amusing, so here goes:

Hey Erin! Would you like a cookie?

Easter

I love Easter. I always have, ever since it dawned on me how truly an important an event it is. I wrote something this time last year about Easter, for an audience that was mainly secular folk knowing little or nothing about Christianity, and I'm going to paste it in here:

OK guys, it's Easter. You know that. Probably because you have a couple days off school... but I really want to remind everybody how sacred this holiday really is. I'm not trying to sound pushy or preachy or anything. You can totally ignore this if you want. But I really hope you don't, that you keep an open mind and think about this.

If you have access to a Bible, read these 4 passages:

Matthew 26-28
Mark 14-16
Luke 22-24
John 18-20

Read the story of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection. If you only read one, read Matthew. Take note of how he prays in the Garden of Gethsemane beforehand - If you are willing, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.

He didn't WANT it to happen! He was scared to death! Not just of the physical pain, but here he was having walked with God all his life, never sinning once, and all of a sudden he knew he would have to be separated from God, he would have to take on the sin of the world. He was afraid but he knew that it was why he came. He wanted it to happen some other way, but he knew that ultimately, he'd do it.

And then on the cross, crying out. "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" He was so full of sin that our perfect Lord couldn't bear to look. He was broken off from God, walking alone, all for us.

He died.

For us.

It's heartbreaking.

Just think about it.

Happy Easter

Who nailed it???

EVERY SINGLE ONE of my predictions was right, including all those I didn't post, including Billy Talent for rock album of the year, and Nelly Furtado for pop album of the year (she gt everything she was nominated for... no surprise.)

I mean, not all my hopefuls won, but honestly, I didn't expect them to. The music industry looks at things differently than I do, and really, it's so predictable...

On another topic, I love winter weather. When it stays in winter. This is just sad.

Juno Awards 2007

So the Juno Awards are on tonight (for those who don't know... Canada's version of the Grammys. A music awards show.) and I decided I'd try my hand at making a few predictions. I've never been right in the past, but what they hey, might as well give it a shot.

Here goes:

Fan Choice Award Nominees:

Gregory Charles
Michael Bublé
Nelly Furtado
Nickelback
Sarah McLachlan

Prediction: Nelly Furtado. She's pretty popular this year, while the fame of Michael and Nickelback have really died down since last year, and the demographic of Sarah and Gregory will not be the same as the group of people voting for the award.

Hopeful: I'd rather see Sarah McLachlan win.


SINGLE OF THE YEAR

Devil In A Midnight Mass - Billy Talent
All I Can Do - Chantal Kreviazuk
Pull Me Through - Jim Cuddy
Sunday Morning - k-os
Promiscuous feat. Timbaland - Nelly Furtado

Prediction: Promiscuous (unfortunately... but such a huge song.)

Hopeful: All I Can Do is a great song with a great message. The CD version is better than the version released to radio.


INTERNATIONAL ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Taking The Long Way - Dixie Chicks
Ancora - Il Divo
FutureSex/LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake
Confessions On A Dance Floor - Madonna
Stadium Arcadium - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Prediction: Dixie Chicks, because most Canadians seem to enjoy their anti-Bush stand.

Hopeful: Haven't heard any of the albums in entirety, but I guess Dixie Chicks or Chili Peppers.


ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Billy Talent II - Billy Talent
I Think of You - Gregory Charles
Hedley - Hedley
Loose - Nelly Furtado
ONE-X - Three Days Grace

Prediction: Nelly again. Gregory's fame is centered mostly in Quebec, and the others are rock albums which have pretty much reached the height of their popularity mid-last year.

Hopeful: Anything but Nelly? haha. The Three Days Grace album is pretty good, but the songs get pretty annoying after a while. Hedley's is good, but too many of the songs sound exactly the same. Billy Talent has that problem too, but it's better, so I'll go with BT.


ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Diana Krall
Gregory Charles
Loreena McKennitt
Nelly Furtado
Pierre Lapointe

Prediction: Who else but Nelly? Your average pop music fan hasn't even heard of the others.

Hopeful: I'd love to see someone timeless like Loreena win.


GROUP OF THE YEAR
Alexisonfire
Billy Talent
Hedley
The Tragically Hip
Three Days Grace

Prediction: Billy Talent or Three Days Grace.

Hopeful: I don't really care. Most of these were already nominated for album of the year, they'll be nominated again for rock album of the year, so as long as they spread the awards out between them, I'm fine. I'll say the Hip for this one, since they've proven greater career longevity.


NEW ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Eva Avila
Melissa O’Neil
Neverending White Lights
Patrick Watson
Tomi Swick

Prediction: Tomi Swick. He's got all the right stuff so far.

Hopeful: As everyone knows my infatuation with Canadian Idol, I'll have to say Melissa. (definitely not Eva though, Idol or not.)


NEW GROUP OF THE YEAR
Evans Blue
Idle Sons
Jets Overhead
Mobile
Stabilo

Prediction: Mobile or Stabilo

Hopeful: Mobile or Stabilo

That was part 1. I'll do part 2 later... probably once the results are out, but I'll pretend I don't know them.

Later.

Welcome to my Life

Hello there all you bloggers,

So I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and get myself a blog. I did have one for a short period a couple years back, but that became the source of nothing but angst, and I got rid of it. Now I'm giving it another shot, though, if only to have a place to ramble - something I do a lot of.

Don't expect me to do a lot of posting; no "once a day" things for me. Probably not even once a week. I'm busy, I'd rather email people than write random blogs, I have things like homework to take care of, and I'm only giving this a shot because Amy and Josh do, and anything they do must be both intelligent and interesting. And Kyle has a blog, and anything he does is ninjalike, and you can't go wrong with ninjas.

So a bit about me and this here blog... the url is from one of my favourite songs, called "Scar" by Missy Higgins. Lyrics:
He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"


A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said "This will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to cut me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine'
Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

So yeah, I think it's a cool song. There are a lot of times when I use songs, song lyrics, or song titles in lieu of my own words, not because I'm lazy or uncreative, but because if I figured something out myself, it would sound exactly like one of those anyway.

Ah. See, she begins her rambling now.

Well, I'm going to cut this post off here, because not only do I have a movie scene analysis to finish for English, I need to empty my bladder so badly...

Later days.